Building Resilience: Supporting Children Through the Hard Yards of Lent Term

This is a timely reminder at this time of year. Historically, I have referred to elements of the Lent Term as being the ‘hard yards’ of the academic year. The shorter days and colder weather can make things harder for all of us, and our children are no different. Please be reassured that this is completely normal, and it is our job to help them through these times.

Perhaps at this time of year we may hear the following type of comments from our children:

“I can’t do that”

“There’s too much to do”

“I’m too tired”

“I don’t enjoy this”

“There isn’t enough time”

At times we can all think or say statements like these. When we make these comments, even as a joke, they can chip away at our self-confidence. They make us feel less than we are, and they turn us into a victim. We begin to expect bad things to happen and often, if we expect bad things to happen, they usually do.

For many of us it is easier to tune into the negatives rather than the positives, and we say things to ourselves that we simply wouldn’t consider saying to someone else we care about. Using negative language drags us down, makes us feel like we aren’t good enough, not up to the task, or being put upon by others to do all sorts of things we don’t want to do.

I am utterly committed to encouraging resilience in our children, and one way of achieving this is to help them keep their thinking on a positive wavelength. If they do this, they can create a habit of telling themselves they are good enough, and that all of the effort – even the bits they don’t like – is for them. Children can often feel pressure to do things for others – their friends, their parents or even their teachers. It is important that we help them understand that they are the ultimately the ones to benefit from the effort they put into their lives, both at home and at school.

If you are worried about your child’s resilience, I can recommend a book called ‘The Circus of Life’, by Rachel Munns. It is aimed at teenagers (and their parents), but I think it offers useful advice that can be applied to younger children also.

Kate Martin

Head of Prep School